I love you
I would like to tell you something about love this month. Obviously, love is an old topic and very often many people tend to think about their love lives and have immediate thoughts about it depending on whether they think it is good or not. In my life so far I have already experienced all kinds of love. I have to say that I am the kind of person, who loves extremely deeply. When I tell you that I love you, I really mean it. I believe this has to do with the fact that I consider myself a very spiritual person. The closer one feels to Spirit, God, the Universe, whatever you whatever you might want to call it, the more loving one usually is. The reason is that in that dimension there is only pure love. Ever since I was born, I have always felt a connection to this invisible power. I don’t necessarily like the word power so much because power is often used in a negative way in our societies. However, let’s leave the term for the time being. Ever since I was born, I have known that there is more to what we can see here on earth. Most people think that because you cannot see it, it does not exist. Although I am very open to all kinds of opinions, I strongly believe that there are many things we do not see but they are there. The most powerful thing that we cannot see is love. However, we can experience it and most of us probably have at some point.
When I experience true love for someone, I can get very emotional about it. Perhaps this is because when I see this person, I connect to this mystical power on a level beyond our limited human understanding. It feels extremely good to love so much but at the same time it is the hardest thing to do. I sometimes get to a point where I don’t care about anything else anymore but anything that has to do with this person. This works of course when the love we feel for someone also comes back to us. Then obviously everything is great and we feel like on the top of the world. However, what if the love is not returned to you? What if you feel lonely and separated because you feel that you are the only one who loves this much? I read that when I love as unconditionally and deeply as I say I do, I should accept the person as is and I also have to let go when necessary. This is probably the purest love there is and at the same time the hardest thing to do. In addition, as human beings living in societies we are often told not to show our feelings. However, feelings for me are just part of being human. This means for me that we as human beings often do not allow ourselves to be human. If it is true that we all were made by the universe and come from this unconditional love, why do we then deny our own miraculous creation? I believe that we were NOT meant to deny our feelings. I believe that we have them because they make us aware of who we are, what we like and what not, and who we love. Because we all have free will and egos, we can still decide what we do with those feelings and whether we express them or not. We can try to tell ourselves not to have them especially when we are told or think that our feelings are inappropriate. However, what is appropriate and what not is decided by us human minds because with God or the Universe there is no judgment – just unconditional love.
There is someone I love very deeply. When I see this person, all I feel is love. I feel connected to God, the universe and know that all there is is love. Even when we cannot see it, it is there. I also can get very emotional when I love too deeply especially when my ego and my society try to tell me that I shouldn’t feel this way. Maybe it is because it is considered inappropriate or may it be because the loved person seems out of reach. These are once again human judgments. It is not always easy to remember that there is more than the limitations we tend to set ourselves in our lives. Many times I find excuses why I should not love so much. My mind comes up with all kinds of negative thoughts especially during times when I feel separated and worlds apart from my love. It is hard to be separated and to let go. Then all kinds of negative thoughts come into my mind of why I shouldn’t love this much and why this love will never come back to me. For a while these negative messages work extremely well and I get into very dark emotional places in my mind. I try hard to forget and I try hard not to love. However, after a while the universe guides me and shows me that those negative feelings are just thoughts created by my mind. At the end of the day, love always succeeds. Love is all there is. I love you.
Copyright © 2013 Barbara Bullock